In sport, especially in golf, emotions often get a bad reputation. “Control your emotions,” “Stay calm,” “Don’t get angry”; these are common phrases golfers hear after a poor shot or a frustrating hole. But let’s set the record straight: emotions themselves are not the problem. They’re human, natural, and often informative. The problem lies in how you respond to your emotions and whether you allow them to interfere with your next shot.
Golf, unlike faster-paced sports like basketball or hockey, gives you time to think, sometimes too much time. That space between shots creates an emotional window: a few minutes to process what just happened and decide what happens next. You might feel frustrated after a three-putt or tense before a tricky tee shot over water. Those emotions aren’t signs of weakness; they’re signs you care. But if they spill over into your routine, distort your decision-making, or distract your focus, then performance suffers.
For golfers, the mental goal is clear: Feel what you feel, but don’t let it follow you into the next shot. That’s the essence of emotional control, not emotional suppression, but emotional management.
Emotional? That’s Not a Problem…Unless You Think It Is
If you’re an emotional person, you don’t need to become someone else to succeed. In fact, trying to deny or suppress your emotions can backfire. When athletes judge themselves for being too emotional, they create an added layer of stress, now they’re frustrated, and they’re frustrated that they’re frustrated. It’s a loop.
Instead of fighting your emotional nature, honor it. Accept it. Work with it, not against it.
Some of the best athletes in the world—think Serena Williams, Jon Rahm, or Tiger Woods—have fiery temperaments. What separates them is not emotional restraint, but emotional recovery. They feel it, show it, and then reset. When golfers allow themselves to feel without shame, they move through emotions faster and return to the task sooner.
A helpful mindset here is: “There’s nothing wrong with me. Emotions are part of the game. I just need to learn how to recover.”
So You Got Emotional…Now What?
Here are three evidence-based strategies you can use to help yourself bounce back quickly when emotions spike. These are not quick fixes, but trainable habits that, when practiced consistently, can make a big difference.
1. Breath Control: Reset Your Body Before You Reset Your Mind
After an emotional moment, say, a chunked wedge or a lip-out par putt, your heart rate spikes. That physiological response can narrow your attention, tighten your muscles, and create a fight-or-flight state. Breath control helps reverse that response.
Try this technique: 4–2–6 Breathing
- Inhale through your nose for 4 seconds
- Hold the breath for 2 seconds
- Exhale slowly through your mouth for 6 seconds
- Repeat 2–3 times
This pattern activates the parasympathetic nervous system, signaling to your body that it’s safe to calm down. You don’t need to close your eyes or sit cross-legged on the green, just use it while walking between shots, or as you stand behind the ball in your pre-shot routine. It’s a quiet but powerful way to restore emotional balance.
2. Cognitive Reframing: Change the Story You’re Telling Yourself
Emotions often come with thoughts, usually harsh ones. “That was terrible.” “I’m blowing it.” “I always mess up under pressure.” These internal narratives fuel negative emotions and make it harder to recover. Cognitive reframing is a skill that involves catching these thoughts and shifting them to a more productive, performance-friendly perspective.
Example:
- Instead of: “This round is ruined.”
- Try: “That hole’s done. Let’s see how well I can respond.”
- Instead of: “I can’t believe I missed that.”
- Try: “Mistakes happen. What does this next shot need?”
This shift in language helps you regain perspective and focus on what’s still within your control. Over time, it becomes second nature.
3. Pre-Shot Routine: Use Process to Anchor Your Focus
A consistent pre-shot routine isn’t just about tempo or alignment; it’s about emotional reset. By repeating the same steps before each shot, regardless of the results, you train your body and mind to anchor in the present.
Your routine might include:
- A physical cue (like touching your glove or grounding the club)
- A verbal cue (like “commit” or “smooth”)
- A visual rehearsal of the shot you want to hit
- One deep breath to cue your swing
The beauty of the routine is that it doesn’t change with emotion, it remains stable, giving you a sense of control in uncertain moments.
Final Thoughts: Emotions Are Allowed…Interference Is Not
Being a great competitor isn’t about being emotionless; it’s about being emotionally agile. The best golfers know how to move through emotion without letting it interfere with performance. They don’t fear frustration or tension. They feel it, process it, and move on.
So next time you’re on the course and the emotions rise…don’t panic. Don’t judge yourself. Take a breath, reframe the moment, and fall back on your process. That’s not just emotional control. That’s emotional strength.
